have you ever had the feeling that you've been slapped in the face by God? This past week, God slapped me in the face. Those of you who know me know that I'm not usually an overly emotional person, but I've been rather "poor me" lately. I've been complaining that things never go "my way" and why things "keep happening to me". We've had issues with our insurance company after Neals birth, I had to go back to work earlier than I wanted, and Neal stopped sleeping through the night. Honestly, that's what I have been complaining about...
Sidebar: I'm an avid blog reader. I love reading blogs. I read random blogs about people that I don't know. People that I think are funny. I just enjoy reading blogs. When I was pregnant with Neal, I stumbled across this blog, My Charming Kids. She was pregnant at the time too and her baby had a heart condition while in the womb. She was told her baby would not survive. I feel as though I've walked this journey with her as I read her blog. I read about her fears and her peace with God. This woman has been a testimony to me about letting God take control and trusting in him. Then, a miracle happened. Her baby was born, perfect. It was amazing. He has been perfect for the last 5 months. Now, suddenly, his heart condition is back. He's not doing well. They don't know if he will survive. They can't get his heart to slow down, and it's starting to wear out. They are running out of options. Yet, this mother...trusts in God. Me? I haven't been able to trust in God for a simple insurance claim.
God slapped me in the face. It was as if He was saying "you're worried about this? Your little boy is perfect. He's healthy...he's the same age as this little boy in the hospital with a heart that beats too fast. His mother is worried if he'll live or not and yet, she trusts me." It was a brutal slap. One that brought me to my knees the other night, holding Neal crying. I deserved that slap. I needed it.
The story of this little boy, so close to Neal in age has really pulled at my heartstrings. If you are so inclined (and I have no idea who reads my blog) please pass the message along. Please pray with me.
I've been slapped and I'm good now. Thank you God for the slap. I deserved it. I've been reminded to be thankful for all the gifts I have been given.
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2 comments:
Yes! I fully agree. I have been following her blog too and it really puts things into perspective and has taught me to let go of the control and just trust God even when things are not making sense.
Your entry brought me to tears Laura. God has ways of doing that, doesn't He? I have been following the blog too - so devastating. We are truly blessed to have healthy children. Thanks for pouring your heart out.
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