Monday, June 13, 2011

the joys of being the younger brother...

arianna makes neal place dress up regularly.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Max and Great Grandma

i took max to meet my grandma this past weekend. she's 96 years old. it's such a blessing to me that she's been able to meet all my children. such joy.


neal didn't want his pictures taken. other than that, we had a very blessed Easter.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

meet Max

Max Steven Nikkel born March 31, 2011. 6 pounds 11 ounces and 19 inches long.

He is perfect in every way and we are so blessed to have him in our lives. All are adjusting well.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


enjoying the playroom at the hospital
taking a rest....
watching a movie. soemthing we did A LOT of
he LOVED the train set. it was kind of hard for him since his IV was in his right hand, but it didn't seem to stop him
he is crying in this picture because he was frustrated that the trains wouldn't stay together. that's when we knew he was starting to feel better

once again, thanks for all the prayers. we are all doing MUCH better!!!!

Friday, March 11, 2011


This could be a bit random and mis-matched, but I promise, I’ll try to have it make sense.
This last week was one of the longest of my life. It started normally and I was doing fine. Until Wednesday. On Tuesday, I had an ultra sound to measure the size of this 3rd baby. Totally normal procedure for someone with gestational diabetes. On Wednesday at about 2:30, I finally checked my cell phone and saw that I had missed 4 phone calls…all from my doctor. When I called back she said that there was some abnormalities with the baby’s heart and I needed to see a specialist. The next day. The same day that Neal was schedule for surgery. In fact, the two appointments were at the same time. I asked my doctor if there was any way to move it and she said no, you can’t miss this appointment. There was a sense of urgency. I went into panic mode. I was terrified. I was terrified for my son – about to have surgery without his mommy there. I was terrified for my unborn child. The ‘what ifs’ terrifying.
That night, I went on facebook and sent messages to my friends. Pleading for prayers. Begging.
I tried to sleep on Wednesday night but it was fleeting. It was hopeless. Instead, I went downstairs and took out my Bible. I prayed, I begged, I pleaded. I sobbed the tears only a mother could cry. My heart was in a million pieces. My brain was running with all the possibilities…the darkest of possibilities. I was literally in my knees in prayer.
The next morning at 5am before we loaded Neal into the car, Jason and I prayed. As we loaded Neal into the car I felt a sense of peace. An indescribable peace. A peace that can only come from God.
Neal handled the morning well. He charmed the nurses and doctors…as I knew he would do. My parents came and sat with us as I watched the clock. As each minute passed, I knew I was one minute closer to having to cross the street to the fetal heart specialist (her office is across the street from the hospital). I had to leave before Neal was taken away…it was the hardest thing I could ever do. I made Jason stay with him. I didn’t want Neal to be scared. I didn’t want him to feel left.
I walked into the fetal heart office and once again, peace. I walked back to the room to get the ultra sound done and there was peace. Calm.
After about 15 minutes, Jason came racing in. Neal was in surgery and he was now with me. My parents were in the waiting room…just in case.
Our ultra sound lasted about 35 minutes. They took picture after picture of our sweet baby’s heart. We could hear it beating. Such a sweet sound. Still, peace.
A few minutes after the ultra sound tech was done, the heart doctor walked in the room. She looked at us and said the most amazing words, ‘looks good’. When Jason pressed her and asked why the heart looked so enlarged on Tuesday’s ultra sound why was it so different today? The doctor responded…’I’m not sure’.
I know why. It was a miracle. The heart was enlarged on Tuesday. I begged with God, pleaded with Him. There were people storming the gates of Heaven for us. There were so many people praying for us.
God performed a miracle. Why He picked us to heal our child, I don’t know. What I do know is I am forever grateful. I am humbled. I am blessed.
Thank you to all the people who prayed for us.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

special persons..

arianna is special persons at preschool this week. these are the pictures she picked to share with her class.
these have all been posted before, i just wanted to remember what pictures she picked. she is so excited. i'll be sure to post how it went. she's most excited because she gets to be first in line at school. so funny.

Favorite Things...

Up North